All Things Morbid

Hi Guys! So I realize that the things I post about are very…disheartening. So this page will be about things that are not classed as ‘morbid’, but still have that..gruesome aspect we all know and love. Home is where the heart is, right? And right now, my non-existent heart is on Jeffrey Dahmer’s doorstep.

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So to brighten up my and other people’s day, short, funny, and humiliating crimes will be posted here, as I understand humiliating things are the focus of the entire Gen A population. Mostly. Either that, or ‘try not to laugh’ challenges. And yes, please understand that I do also, somewhat, enjoy watching these things, so to make fun of other people for it, makes me a hypocrite. It just so happens that being a hypocrite is one of my favourite pastimes.

Anyway…here is a short funny story for this post:

The Great Maple Syrup Heist

Over a couple months in 2011 to 2012, the contents of 9,571 barrels, worth 18.7M, was stolen- yes, you are not hallucinating. Maple syrup in large quantities is worth the hassle of stealing. Makes a girl think about how to earn a stable living. – from a FPAQ [stands for Fédération des Prodecteurs Acéricoles du Québec, in English: Quebec Maple Syrup Producers Federation ] facility in Saint-Luis-de-Blandford, Quebec. Ever wonder how maple syrup is stored in such a facility? Cause I certainly haven’t. Well, the syrup is stored in nondescript white metal barrels, only checked upon once a year. Practically screaming, “Steal me!” Or, at least, “Pour me on pancakes and then eat those pancakes!” Our beloved thieves decided to go with, “Steal me!”

The thieves used trucks to transfer the syrup to a sugar shack. Which, despite its name, is not like the witch house in the fairy tale, Hansel and Gretal. Unfortunately. At the sugar shack, the thieves siphoned off the maple syrup, replacing the syrup in the barrels with water, and then returning the barrels to the facility. Talk about a good plan. …….But not good enough that they wouldn’t be caught.

As the operation of steal the maple syrup but not pour it on pancakes went on, the thieves got cocky and just sent the barrels back to the facility without filling them with water. A mistake that would lead them to their capture. The stolen syrup was split into 2 portions: One to be trucked to the south toward Vermont, and the other to the east, toward New Brunswick. At the locations the syrup was trafficked in small batches to avoid suspicion. Usually it was sold to legitimate, legal, syrup distributors, unaware of its shady origin.

In July 2012 the FPAQ conducted its annual inventory of syrup barrels. Inspector Michel Gavreau started climbing up the mountain of barrels, but nearly fell, due to the lack of, well, anything, in the barrels. The police soon recovered hundreds of barrels of syrup from an exporter based in Kedgwick, New Brunswick.

Soon the police arrested 17 men related to the theft.

So, what do you think? A serious crime, or a funny one?

I think that the thieves certainly had ‘sticky’ fingers. Get it? Cos maple syrup is sticky and its also a reference to thieves…..Sign of a great joke, having to explain it. Well done, Pip. [ Yes I did just reference myself in the 3rd person. ]

If you want to learn more about this case, such as knowing who was involved, the trusty Wikipedia knows everything…

Hope you enjoyed this post and I’ll post more things like this. If you guys have any ideas of a case\crime you want to know more about, then just write it the comments.

Thanks for reading!